Friday, January 27, 2006

No Knitting Here

I’ve been away from the computer doing ‘living’ things....of which, NONE include knitting.

With some of my life’s turnings, I have words to share. And, with others, I am somewhat at a loss. Not that there are not heaps, or mountains, of words and emotions to speak of about these events.

It’s just that my heart is sore. In both good and sad ways. So, some of these measures I will share while others, at least for now, will remain where things inside of the soul shall sit for a spell and dwell -- in warmth, joy and some sorrow.

Ike is home and doing well though his recovery will be trying. But he progresses at a forward pace. And as ever with Ike, his spirit is infallible. Now, if he can keep from hurting himself while recovering, THAT will be a miracle. Within hours of being released from the hospital, he was in his car to go see friends. He barely made it back home. But Ike takes no advice from anyone so we’ll see how he fares. Hopefully, he’ll continue to do well without incident.

On the other side of the coin, my Father’s brother, whom I call Uncle Bob, is dying. As he lays in a drugged and artificial state in the hospital, stuck through and through with plastic tubing’s married to beeping machines, I sadly see his ever gentle and kind soul peering through closed eyes that will in all likelihood, not open again.

And so it is then, I also see my Father’s blue eyes as it is a potent family trait, these men with blue-of-sky eyes. His cheek bones are high and now sharp with age and his nose is cutting. Amazing how we go from the sharp edges of youth, to the rounded edges of middle age, and back to angles of bone in late years.

Sadly, I now stand with and watch, a grief stricken family, a loving family, struggle through the loss of the Elder male of our ancestral ‘tribe.’ Though the children are resigned and accepting, the spouse of twenty+ years is breaking hard on the inside. Soon she will be covered in that ‘ice’ that coats the world after losing a loved one, that feeling of loss, the forever more darkening of a part of your soul.

I am sometimes there, to stand, hold, and watch. Share small bits of the funny parts of my Uncle and Father life as I know it. The ‘numbing time’ is coming up. It is now a waiting time. A heart-wrenching waiting time. And a time of remembrance that makes us smile through tears.

3 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

My thoughts, prayers and blessings are with you. Take care

10:18 PM  
Blogger Linda and Denny said...

I'm sure you are bringing comfort to the family and to your Uncle Bob by celebrating his life.

5:48 AM  
Blogger Head Honcho said...

"Remember the good times"---the other times don't count on the real scoreboard of life. I salute you for your love and devotion--but remember--go to your "source for strength to hold up others.
Love
Su Amigo

7:52 AM  

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